(With apologies to Alfred, Lord Tennyson.)
The Charge of the (Intellectually) Light Brigade
1.
Tea Parties, Patriot Protests,
Taxed Enough Already,
Against the panels of Death
Railed the mentally unsteady.
"Forward the Light Brigade!
Charge for gun rights!" stand ready.
Against the panels of Death
Cried the mentally unsteady.
2.
Forward, the Light Brigade!"
Was Real America betray'd?
Yet so Sarah tweeted
Some Crypto-Islamist masquerade.
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason (why?),
Theirs but to do and die.
Against the panels of Death
Railed the mentally unsteady.
3.
Morans to right of them,
Socalists to left of them,
Guv'mint in front of them
Harry and Nancy and Teddy;
Storm'd at with TARP and healthcare,
Illiterately they signed, and wear
Don’t Tread On Me,
Hands off my Medicare
Cried the mentally unsteady.
4.
Exposed all their teabags bare,
Exposed as they ranted on air
Spat on heroes there,
Cried "Nigger" "Faggot", while
All the world wonder'd.
Plunged into Tentherism
Right thro' reason they fall;
Secession and Treason
Pandered from Parry and Paul
Mitt and Mike and Sarah’s ready.
Loudly blow the dog whistles, and
Goad the mentally unsteady.
5.
Nazis to right of them,
Commies to left of them,
Amercia behind them
Harry and Nancy and Teddy;
Storm'd at with TARP and healthcare,
Rush the prophet and Glenn the heir,
Tell them not to despair
Obama made the panels of Death,
But the teabaggers will prepare,
With Fake News, the brains
Of the mentally unsteady.
6.
When can their lunacy fade?
O the wild charges they made!
All the world wonder'd.
Parse the charges they made!
The Intellectually Light Brigade,
Nutty Teabaggers!